Experimental Re-animator. 1 yrs exp. Been practicing on roadkill over lockdown. Willing to try humans.

Call Ray 02076466678

Need your boiler ripped out? £2000 we’ll come do it for free. Find us or shout out ya window boy

matey boy

Private Dick for hire: 30 years exp of following women (and some men)

kelvin@icu.lense.uk

Dothraki Lessons now available – learn Dothraki from a native speaker! Only advanced linguists need reply (tutor very impatient).

Email enquiry to bhardo@dothrakitongues.com

Love

Tall, bespectacled caucasian man seeks young man. Likes curry and plumbing. Former jobcentre employee.

N. London

Wana be pen palz? gettin a bit lonely. i swear i neva dun it.

cell 4, block c, belmarsh

Sour old pointy faced comedy wizard seeks strangers for confrontation. free insults

Jerry, Scotland

East London surgeon seeks role play companion. Must be nocturnal and enjoy thrill of being chased

Come to Spitalfields 1A.M. Mon-Thurs

Are you a man? I just looking for man to talk who dont mind what i done before.

call Steve Bennett 077788534578

Miscellaneous

Want to get ‘WOKE’? Come and join our ‘WOKEN LANGUAGE’ classes and never offend anyone again. Our one-day, morally pure classes will teach you exactly how to act around people who aren’t exactly the same as you. We’ll teach that black does crack, gay is okay, and people who make love to cars have feelings too! So, if you’re straight, white, male and evil – WAKE UP with our ‘WOKEN LANGUAGE’ course today (or go and die a horrible death in a ditch).

Twitter @wokenlanguage

INM8 MSSGS – desperate to send your bestie a b’day message from Ian Huntley? Itching to call in sick to your boss with a video call from little old Rosemary West?

Find us @ inm8mssgs.org

5 X MENS NAPPIES SIZE XL for sale. Hardly worn. £1 each

email mrfix@houseoflords.gov