INTERVIEW: Kunt and the Gang talks Britain’s biggest cunt, Christmas chart success, ‘Shannon Matthews: The Musical’, and More…

Kunt describes himself as the “former minor internet hit singer turned one hit wonder, Kunt, from Kunt and the Gang, also of punk band The Kunts” – but he and his various projects are so much more. Moving on the fringes of acceptability in British comedy, Kunt has tapped into a strain of humour that not many would dare to: it’s blue, but with a tinge of brown and blood red. Predominantly a writer of comedy songs, Kunt covers subjects such as Britain’s most notorious paedophile, Jimmy Saville, and one of the most prolific serial killing couples in history, Fred and Rose West. His albums include ‘I Have a Little Wank and I Have a Little Cry’ and ‘Let’s Have a Wank for England’.

In celebration of Capers Magazine’s first annual Cunt Awards, what better way to start proceedings that by chatting to the best Kunt in Britain?! So, David E.J.A. Bennett went to do just that…

David: Seeing as it’s the Cunt Awards this month at Capers Magazine, let’s kick things off with the most pertinent question: Who is the biggest cunt in Britain? (other than Boris Johnson)

Kunt: I’m nominating Prince William and Kate Middleton for their insincere, media-managed benevolence. Normally, secretly answering phones for a mental health crisis line and anonymously laying flowers at the shrine of a woman who had been abducted and murdered would be something that I’d be out on my doorstep at 8pm clapping for, but once you have to stoop to tipping off the fawning press to report on your good deeds it all just becomes a vile, transparent PR offensive to try and make us think that those smug, entitled robots are normal human beings. Cunts!

David: You garnered massive media attention in December of 2020 as you managed to get to number 5 in the Christmas charts with your song ‘Boris Johnson is a Fucking Cunt’ (that readers can view here). That is an amazing achievement on many levels! How was that experience for you?

Kunt: It was fucking mental. One of my teenage pipe-dreams was to have a one hit wonder but as you get older you just come to terms with the fact that the ship has sailed on a lot of the things you thought you’d one day get around to. Then in the week running up to the Christmas chart when everyone was sharing it on their socials and all the newspapers started reporting it, it was just so fucking exciting. Boris cancelling everyone’s Christmas with 5 days to go obviously helped the cause. We were all in lockdown, so I was in my shed up the end of the garden, on the phone to mates and we were all going, “Fucking hell, I can’t believe it!!” But as soon as the chart was announced that was it, it all died down as quick as it started. A proper insight into 15 minutes of fame!

David: Do you have any plans for more jaunts into the chart world?

Kunt: To be honest you can have all the plans you want but unless you’re someone with a big fuck-off fan base, or a big major label PR machine behind you it’s a bit of a lightning strike scenario to be able to get enough momentum to trouble the higher echelons of the charts. That said, it would be nice to think our song God Save The Queen’s Cunt could be nestling in the top 10 for the Queen’s 70th Jubilee next year…

David: I would love to have seen you on old school Top of the Pops: if you could say one thing to Jimmy Saville, what would it be?

Kunt: What’s that stain on your shell suit bottoms?

David: You’ve crafted songs around subjects like the very unfortunate ‘Ian Watkins’ confusion, Fred and Rose West, and you have a song called ‘Jimmy Saville and the Sexy Kids’: are there any subjects that you won’t go near?

Kunt: I sort of do it on a case by case basis. In order for the songs about those kind of taboos to work, I tried to put an unexpected slant on the subject that took some of the seriousness out of it, because otherwise if you’re just singing “Black lives matter, ha ha ha, no they don’t” you’re going to rightly come a cropper very quickly.

David: There are some comedians out there who aim to shock with offensive stuff, and the joke belies therein – Jerry Sadowitz, Frankie Boyle, etc. Have you ever heard a joke and thought “shit me, that’s a bit much”?

Kunt: I remember seeing Jerry Sadowitz at the Edinburgh Fringe doing something about Maddie McCann and some people walking out, and Jim Jefferies doing a bit about Kylie’s cancer and there being a load of walkouts. I always thought if you go and see these people who do that kind of comedy it’s a bit of a cop out getting offended when they then get to the subject that affects you, but then if you’re not enjoying it, it’s better for everyone’s morale that you leave, rather than sit there with your crossed arms getting higher and higher ruining the atmos’ for everyone else.

David: Aristotle said “A fool contributes nothing worth hearing and takes offence at everything.” Why do you think everyone is so happy to be offended nowadays?

Kunt: The way social media and the web works with character limits, click-bait and soundbites, I think people in general are less able to have a discussion about anything without it quickly escalating into ridiculous polarised statements, so it might all start there. And Brexit has made it all worse. One funny thing I noticed when doing the Boris Johnson song was that on Facebook and message boards there were people who would on any other day be advocates of free speech trying to get me shut down for what the song was saying. I don’t really know what the answer is. Part of me just wishes everyone could get along a bit better, but the kunt in me quite enjoys people losing their shit and embarrassing themselves.

David: Your comedy loosely falls into the realm of musical comedy, although not as we know it: are there any other musical comedians who you enjoy listening to? What do you think of the current ‘musical comedy’ landscape in Britain?

Kunt: I wouldn’t say I’m the most knowledgeable about what’s going on in musical comedy (I didn’t even know there was a musical comedy landscape) but I was put on to Tom Lehrer a good few years ago, whose work I really enjoy, and I am a big fan of Gary Le Strange. 

David: If you could duet with any one person from history – musician or not – who would it be? And why?

Kunt: Princess Diana. Because if she was alive I think she would have the biggest Social Media reach. Although she’d probably already have collaborated with Ed Sheeran.

David: What can we expect to see from Kunt and the Gang in the near future?

Kunt: Later in the year if things work out I’m probably going to be doing some gigs with my punk band The Kunts. Then next year I’m really excited to say the musical I wrote ten years ago about the disappearance of Shannon Matthews, Shannon Matthews: The Musical, will be making its stage debut!

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