The Cunt Awards

Editor’s Choice Cunt Award 2021

Britain, A Nation of Cunts: Winner of the Editor’s Choice Cunt Award 2021

The decision to choose Britian’s biggest cunt was almost impossible; we live in a particularly cunty nation. From top to bottom of our society, cunts lurk at every juncture. Boring cunts, awful cunts, lying cunts, stupid cunts, interminable, iredeemable, insurmountable cunts. Choosing a single cunt from such a deep pool of cunts was a task beyond my ability, so I didn’t – I chose the whole lot of them. 

Boris Johnson, prime minister, voted into office time and again even though he demonstrates in every job he has ever had what an absolutely incompetant, incapable cunt he is – that falls upon the shoulders of everyone who has voted for him or employed him.

The royal family, seemingly in turmoil with their warring children, paedophile uncles, and reptillian bloddline once and for all proving incompatible with humanity. Another perspective, however, is that all the turmoil is just a way of staying relevant – they’re playing out their own scripted reality show, the mainstream media is their network, and you cunts are the audience. 

Billionaire cunts flying into space on penis shaped rocket with their billions of excess pounds, while millions of people have lost or struggle with their livelihoods after Covid – the same Covid unleashed on the masses by billionaires who want less people to deal with. These cunts are laughing in our faces and you cunts lap it up.

Covid – another cunt – brought out the very worst in the public: fighting over masks, fighting over jabs, fighting over staying indoors… Cunts buying up trolley-loads of toilet tissue and pasta and baby wipes, clearing the Tesco shelves of essentials! You cunts have shame on your hands.

Offended cunts who deem the incorrect use or misplacement of pronouns to be reason enough for someone to lose their livelihood – disgraceful. Cancel culture is the work of children not intelligent enough to win an argument they are so clearly correct in, choosing instead to spitefully to fascistically shut down all opposition – all with the justification that someone’s feelings have been hurt.

Mainstream media cunts who take one person’s stupid tweet and elevate it to represent that person’s sole perspective of the world. The same media cunts who constantly stoke up notions of end times because their industry is on its arse and they need to sell papers and bait clicks to their websites – gutter journalists and the cunts that read them. 

Racist cunts online: sometimes cowards hiding behind fake profiles, other times morons using real profiles to racially abuse young black footballers with more talent in their little toes than these cunts will ever have in the enitre flabby, unwashed bodies across the entirity of their existence. 

English football hooligan cunts rising up to embarrass us all again just when England looked to be doing something good for once. Out slithered these aging pictures of poor health and bad fashion, to languidly punch and kick each other because England got to a major final? 

(Whichever cunt decided to rekindle 90s fashion for todays youth and make them wearing big clunky shoes and look like complete twats.)

Love Island cunts: everyone on it, everyone who produced it, funded it, used the cunts on it to sell their shit, everyone who watches it (sorry mum), and every young person who aspires to be like the bland, narcissistic, sex-mad cunts who star in it – a complete lack of ambition all across the board. Cunts. 

Influencers and the cunting idea that to get anywhere in the world you must absolutely have the backing of an influencer influencing easily-influenced idiots. 

Additionally, cunts who sell arms to nations with awful human rights records; cunts who align themselves with military dictatoships in the name of Britain; cunts that say criticising Israel for its slow murder of the Palestinian people is anti-Semitic (inhuman cunts of an unbelievabel magnitude); the BBC for their long history of racist programming and their support of known paedophiles and for the license fee; RuPaul and his Drag Race for the artistic imprisonment of its contracted artists; Facebook, Twitter and YouTube for their censorship of free speech but inability to curtail racism – if you can advertise Covid jabs at the merest mention of Covid, you can flag up racism in a similar way… unless you don’t want to, of course?

If you’re a cunt and I missed you out, please forgive me – you may insert yourself into this list of winners! Congratulations.

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